A Simpler, More Meaningful Holiday: Let Go of Perfect
The holidays can be magical—but they can also be a lot. From shopping lists to school parties, family dinners to social media expectations, it’s easy to get swept up in the pressure to do more, be more, and create something “perfect.”
But what if you let that go?
What if this year, your celebrations weren’t about impressing anyone… but about creating real joy—for you, and for the people you love?
Let’s look at a few ways to gently simplify the season while making it feel even more special.
What Complicates Our Holidays?
The holidays come with a to-do list a mile long—cooking, wrapping, decorating, traveling—and just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, here come the perfect pictures online, making you feel like you’re not doing enough.
Perfectionism doesn’t add joy—it adds stress.
So instead of aiming for perfect, try aiming for meaningful. Ask yourself:
- What do the holidays mean to me?
- What am I worried about? (Burnt food? Awkward moments? Letting someone down?)
- What one tradition do I want to keep, no matter what?
- How do I want my guests to feel?
- Who am I really doing all this for?
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” — Anne Lamott
It’s easy to lose sight of what matters most. But you can pause, unplug, and reset. You don’t have to do it all.
Traditions: Choose Wisely
Holiday traditions can be beautiful—but they can also become overwhelming when we try to keep every tradition from our own childhood, our partner’s childhood, and everything we’ve picked up from Pinterest along the way.
If you cut a few, will you really ruin the magic?
Try asking your family what they actually remember and love most from past holidays. Their answers might surprise you. Then, work together to create new traditions that reflect your life now.
In my family, Christmas is simple and loud. Familiar food, lots of presents, kids running wild, and a few silly games. That’s what they love—and that’s what we keep.
One 7-year-old cousin even told me it was his favorite party of the whole year. That’s the kind of joy I want to protect. So now I’m intentional. I let go of the overdone extras and focus on what brings us together.
“Often what’s going on underneath perfectionism is a desire for control,” says Kristine Oller, a Los Angeles–based coach who specializes in change strategy for creative professionals. “With the holidays, this can manifest as a desire to recapture something you had at some point in the past. But the thing about memories is they’re our own little edited movies. When we try to make an experience turn out a certain way, we set ourselves up for disappointment.”
https://kristineoller.com/
Once you let yourself experience a more simplified holiday, you will actually know: Was anyone really disappointed? Did the sky fall when you had simpler party food or dinner menus? Were you more relaxed and more fun to be around? What did you miss and want to bring back? What other things can you do without next time?
What to Do About Gifts and Shopping
- Set a goal: more fun, less stuff.
- Reduce the gift exchanges you participate in.
- If you make homemade gifts for friends or neighbors, start really, really early. If you didn’t start early, order small tokens of appreciation online and let it go.
- Consider quality vs. quantity when shopping for gifts.
- Keep a running list all year long– on paper or on an app on your phone. Add to it every time someone you give gifts to mentions something they saw and liked, a thing they want, an interest or hobby they are into, a place they want to go… then use the list for ideas when it’s time to give a gift.
- Instead of giving gifts to extended family members, decide together to donate to a charity. Kids will often give up their own gifts if they are given the chance to make a difference in someone else’s life.
- Or give experience gifts. A National Parks pass. Tickets to an event. A promise of a day trip or weekend away.
- Set limits. Pay attention to creating joy rather than feeding into competitive materialism.
Three Secrets for Simplified Decorating
Decorating should be fun—not another source of stress. If you find yourself constantly rearranging, overspending, or feeling like your home doesn’t measure up, it might be time to hit pause.
You don’t have to decorate more to create a festive, cozy atmosphere. These three simple tricks bring the magic without the overwhelm:
1. Add Sparkle
String lights, candles, glass dishes—anything that shines or glows instantly feels enchanting.
2. Hang a Banner
Seasonal banners are cheerful, easy to store, and instantly festive.
3. Bring in Nature
Fresh flowers, pinecones, evergreen branches, even apples or a bare branch with lights—nature adds charm, beauty, and warmth.
These three elements form the foundation of my holiday decor. You can stop right there, or layer in your favorite sentimental pieces. Either way, the pressure’s off.
Bonus tip: If there are holiday decorations you no longer love, it’s okay to let them go. Declutter your holiday bins and keep only what brings joy.
Plan Ahead: Holiday Meals
Holiday meals are all about planning. Find your signature party style, and use it as a template for all your events. Then make a plan and work your steps.
• Choose your menu.
• Make a shopping list.
• Choose what time you want to eat.
• Decide which things can be made earlier in the week, or the day before.
• List the things that need to be made on the day of.
• Work backward from your desired dinner time and write down when
each item needs to be started.
• Decide what others can help with. Make assignments.
• Get out your serving dishes and items, plan one for each food item,
and fill in where needed.
• Every big dinner always has some glitches and even fails. Don’t stress!
Simplifying Parties: Less is More
Have you ever been to a party where everything looked perfect—but the host seemed exhausted or distracted? Where the vibe was more “photo shoot” than heartfelt celebration?
The best parties aren’t the most styled—they’re the most welcoming.
Instead of trying to wow your guests, focus on making them feel comfortable. Be present. Laugh. Eat. Enjoy. That’s what people remember.
And for your own sake, protect your time. Sit down with your family and choose which events really matter. Cross the rest off the calendar. Give yourself room to breathe, rest, and be fully present.
“If you don’t have time to do what matters, stop doing things that don’t.” — Courtney Carver
Closing Thoughts: The Heart of the Holidays
At the end of the season, it won’t be the matching napkins or themed appetizers your loved ones remember. It’ll be the feeling of being together, being seen, and being loved.
So let go of perfect. Choose presence. Choose joy. Choose what matters.
And if all else fails—unplug for a few minutes. Including yourself. 💛